“My Healer” – a quatrain

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“My Healer” – a quatrain

People will fail you, leave you black and blue
Trample your heart, the very existence of you
Rise above your hurt, let God mend your pain
When everyone has left you, He’s the one who remains.
-jmf

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“Robin’s Song” (haiku)

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Robin’s Song

Oh, the robin’s song

announces winter’s demise

serenades blossom.

-jmf

This is another stanza of the “Spring Wakes” haiku, a work in progress.  Each stanza reminds me of my hope.  As this season does.  I am enjoying it as I write it.

I hope you do as well.

J.

“I Taught Myself To Live Simply” by Anna Akhmatova

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I Taught Myself To Live Simply
by Anna Akhmatova
I taught myself to live simply and wisely,
to look at the sky and pray to God,
and to wander long before evening
to tire my superfluous worries.
When the burdocks rustle in the ravine
and the yellow-red rowanberry cluster droops
I compose happy verses
about life’s decay, decay and beauty.
I come back. The fluffy cat
licks my palm, purrs so sweetly
and the fire flares bright
on the saw-mill turret by the lake.
Only the cry of a stork landing on the roof
occasionally breaks the silence.
If you knock on my door
I may not even hear.

I was once a very busy person.  Successful, but too busy going through the motions to know if I was really enjoying life or not.  This is what I’ve learned since waking from a coma.  Life is measured in moments.  Those moments are limited.  We are at liberty to spend them any way we choose.  We can waste them on mindless activities, we can worry them away, we can rush them by.  Or we can celebrate them.  They’re going to go by anyway.
My life is much more quiet than it used to be.  I don’t own a TV.  I don’t want to give away my moments for the sake of entertainment, if that makes any sense.  Plus, since my brain injury, I prefer the quiet.  I enjoy my moments as much as I can.  I’m conscious of them.  I have this fear of getting so busy that I lose that awareness.  I’m working on that.
I know there is a balance.  I’m in the process of finding it.  I want my moments to count; to be spent celebrating so that I will have as few regrets as possible.
I think there’s wisdom in that…and this poem.

“Feathers and Fools” – Mem Fox

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I’ve been thinking of this book recently as I’ve witnessed conflict arise around us.

This is a children’s book but the story is a very mature, thought provoking one.  In fact, as an Elementary Educator I have found that many hard and true life lessons can be learned through children’s literature.  This is a fine example.

Mem Fox uses an allegory of swans and peacocks that misunderstand their differences which leads to fear of them.  Their fear of each other then leads to violence and war.  It’s powerful, yet easy to understand.  An appropriate story that addresses conflict for both children and adults.

I often used children’s literature to teach such lessons in my 5th grade classroom.  I never cease to be amazed at the wisdom of children’s literature authors.

I’ve included a video of the text.  It isn’t a read aloud, just text.  It’s a short read.

But powerful.

Enjoy.

What’s really healthy in recovery??

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I’ve been doing some thinking about my recovery. A lot of thinking. I know that a positive attitude is important, even vital, for progress in recovery.  Recovery from anything.

But, I am realizing that it’s also imperative to acknowledge some of the negative as well.

This is why.  Positive did not lead to what I am recovering from.  Much of my recovery has led to a change in attitude.  I’ve had to do a lot of soul searching in order to make those changes.  I’ve had to acknowledge the behavior I engaged in, the attitudes I held, as well as the people that I chose to include in my life.

That means that I have to think about the negative.

So I have condensed a top ten list for today:

Janet’s Top Ten List of UGHS:

1. Narcissists.

2. People that mistake kindness and humility for weakness and take advantage of it.

3. Controlling people.

4. People who claim and appear to be loyal only until you disagree with them.

5. My weakness for numbers 1-4.

I’m just being real today.  I’m owning my issues and what I need to mend in order to recover completely in order to be healthy.

I don’t like to talk about myself, it makes me uncomfortable.  But it’s necessary in order for me to tell my story.  And telling my story is healing.

Healing for me…and hopefully for someone else as well.

What do you do when you have a persistent guest that turns into an unwelcome roommate??

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He’s been here too long and it’s time for him to leave.  He was once a welcome guest, the only one to keep me company besides my faithful and loyal Pup. He listened when I needed to say the things I could not say to any other. But I’m growing weary of him and it’s time for him to go. He’s overstayed his welcome.

You see, there was a time when I welcomed his company for several reasons.  He understood my depression and self-pity. He actually encouraged it.  In his own way, he kept me in my solid state of depression, faithfully, day and night.  All he ever wanted to talk about was the memories of the life and love that I used to live. Conversations that only served to conjure up still-there feelings.

It’s true that I’ll have to live alone, just my Pup and me.  But his absence, the hole that it leaves in my heart and home, will be the space that someone else will fill.  Someone who will cheer for my smiles, my successes and my happiness.

So, I’m helping him pack tonight.  We’re not bothering with suitcases, no.  Garbage bags are sufficient for his unending supply of stuff.  I’m visiting and revisiting every room and closet, searching for anything that remains.  I don’t want him to leave anything behind.  I don’t want anything of him left behind.

I don’t know where he’s going.  I don’t know where his next home will be.  I only know he’s leaving.  Tonight.

Goodbye, Loneliness.

You just weren’t good for me.  I hope you understand.

“Spring Haiku”

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This is just one stanza of a work in progress.  I love the haiku.  As poetry forms are, it’s limited, but I think that’s part of the beauty of it.  Because of the limitations, it makes the poet consider carefully the use of imagery and expression.

“Spring Wakes”

Spring’s Promise is here,

soft rain waking sleeping trees,

sowed seeds yield new hope.

– jmf