The following is a journal entry that I made approximately a week before my injury. I had just spent almost a week in a detox center in Florida.
“You can’t sit there Ma’am”. I looked at her in disbelief. Why didn’t she say that to anyone else? The small park at the Salvation Army office was filled with people talking, smoking and scurrying about. She didn’t say anything to them. I was hot and frustrated and more than a little tired. I’d just gotten out of a detox center that was located across the street and thought that this was both a safe and logical place for me to wait for my friend to pick me up. I was waiting patiently when a lady dressed in a dark suit approached me and quietly said those words to me. I was too tired to ask any questions so I just said “OK”. It was then that it hit me. As I reached for the blue garbage bag that held my belongings I understood. And I was livid. She thought I was a homeless person! I was not a homeless person and was offended. I was an educated person with a master’s degree and had once had a career that I’m sure put hers to shame. Yet here she was telling me to leave. I picked up my bag and walked through the gate and onto the sidewalk. As I rounded the corner I got even more insight as to why she’d asked me to leave. There weren’t several what I assumed to be homeless people, there were many. They were all gathered together under a covered concrete parking lot. Some were laid out on benches and others were sitting in small circles chatting quietly. All of them looked tired and weary. I repeat. All of them. They were hot and simply looking for a place to rest out of the hot sun.
It was a strange sight for me. I felt so sorry for them. You see they were allowed behind the building but not in front of it. I didn’t know any of their stories but I’m sure they each had one. This would begin my journey into discovering just who these people were. It would also catapult me into a search for who we are as a civilized society to be so ashamed of them as to make sure they remain out of sight.
I didn’t finish the entry because my life returned to normal afterwards. Until my fall. And my surgery followed by my coma and recovery. I’ve thought about this time a lot since. What I remember of it anyway.
Recently I heard about the retired veteran in Florida who was arrested multiple times for feeding the homeless because he wasn’t in agreement with a city ordinance. That troubled me deeply. It seems to me that we have our values mixed up somehow. While I love animals and am an avid supporter of animal rights, we seem, as a society, to value animal rights more than those of humans sometimes. We are outraged when we see animals abused, mistreated, neglected and left to fend for themselves, or God forbid, go hungry. And yet, we hide our homeless humans. Some would argue that homeless people have gotten themselves into those situations. Indeed, that may be the case sometimes, but not always. We have veterans who are homeless.
I met an elderly gentleman that day who gave up his seat for me so that I could charge my phone while I waited. As we talked for a while, he shared his story with me. He was a veteran that had undergone 3 heart surgeries and lost his home because he simply couldn’t pay his bills. He had become homeless because of his circumstances. He had no family locally and was hoping to get in touch with a brother who lived out of state.
He was disabled. When I spoke with him that day, I had no way of knowing that I’d end up the same way only a week later. I am currently awaiting disability benefits. I hope to be able to return to my career eventually, however. Until that time, I am getting by. I am grateful everyday to have what I need.
Homeless people are not always what they seem. They are our fellow humans. Any of us have the potential of becoming homeless whether we want to consider that possibility or not. That is the reality. We do not deserve to be hidden away in shame because we are hard to look at.
I was only mistaken for a homeless person. I only had to feel the shame temporarily. I can’t imagine feeling it everyday.